December 2014

Buzzword Buttholes

It makes me furious to see those people who deliberately make themselves ridiculous in spite of their rank; who boldly decide everything and talk about everything, without knowledge; who cry out in delight at the bad parts of a play, without stirring at the good parts; who, similarly, when they see a painting or hear a concert, blame and praise everything wrongly; who pick up somewhere the technical terms of the art, and always mispronounce them. Eh, morbleu! My good sirs, when God hasn’t given you knowledge about something, keep quiet; don’t make your hearers’ laugh; and reflect that if you don’t say a word, maybe people will think you’re profound.


We all know at least one “Buzzword Butthole”. This is the person that spouts all the “buzzwords” and catch-phrases of a particular occupation, but knows very little about doing the actual work. They impress the hell out of laypeople and are often in positions that they have no business being in. Those that are truly knowledgeable see thru their crap almost immediately.

In coding, there are very few “Buzzword Buttholes”. Either you know something or you don’t. I find this refreshing. Sure, you can cut and paste code, (Hell, I do it whenever I can. I’m a terrible typist and am not exactly the greatest Javascript or PHP coder on the planet.), at home and create some pretty impressive work. However, when the shit hits the fan, you better know what you’re doing. At seminars and conventions, the speaker is usually live-coding. This is why people like: Lea Verou, Paul Irish, Sara Soueidan, etc. have my utmost respect.

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